finding balance
that may sound a little new-agey, but i think it describes what i'm trying to do with my life at this moment. the past couple months have been some of the busiest and most sleep-deprived of my life, interning 30 hours a week and working 3-4 shifts at the pizzeria. now that i've started working doubles on saturday, i find myself with more time during the week, but no idea what to do with it. i'm arguably in the worst financial situation of my life, dreading my first loan payment at the end of next month (happy new year to me), and therefore feel guilty doing anything that requires much money. but i also don't want to spend many more afternoons the way i did this past wednesday, napping and watching tv until bedtime.
my internship has kind of stalled at this point as well. we're nearing the time of year where business tends to slow down, and my supervisor will be out of the office 4 out of the next 6 weeks. this week i have spent more hours trying to figure out how to occupy myself on the internet than i have doing anything productive for the company. i try job searching a bit but see little that appeals to me, and even less that i have the energy to apply for. i feel my attention span shrinking and my eyes deteriorating as i stare at the computer screen without purpose. there is the 'promise' of a salaried position at the beginning of the year, but i honestly don't know if i'll arrive with my brain in tact with the understimulation i'm experiencing at the moment.
that sounds kind of dramatic. it's just that i was thinking while at the pizzeria last night about how i'm not really excited about or satisfied with either of the jobs i work at this point, but don't have the time, energy, or will to do much about it. i live for my free time but then don't do much with it, or i spend money i don't have when i do decide to do something fun. what were the busiest months of my life are turning into the most monotonous. i'll be looking for the change to come.
on a happier note, if you want to laugh, go to OverheardInNewYork.com. it makes me laugh every day.
my internship has kind of stalled at this point as well. we're nearing the time of year where business tends to slow down, and my supervisor will be out of the office 4 out of the next 6 weeks. this week i have spent more hours trying to figure out how to occupy myself on the internet than i have doing anything productive for the company. i try job searching a bit but see little that appeals to me, and even less that i have the energy to apply for. i feel my attention span shrinking and my eyes deteriorating as i stare at the computer screen without purpose. there is the 'promise' of a salaried position at the beginning of the year, but i honestly don't know if i'll arrive with my brain in tact with the understimulation i'm experiencing at the moment.
that sounds kind of dramatic. it's just that i was thinking while at the pizzeria last night about how i'm not really excited about or satisfied with either of the jobs i work at this point, but don't have the time, energy, or will to do much about it. i live for my free time but then don't do much with it, or i spend money i don't have when i do decide to do something fun. what were the busiest months of my life are turning into the most monotonous. i'll be looking for the change to come.
on a happier note, if you want to laugh, go to OverheardInNewYork.com. it makes me laugh every day.
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